When the Apology Never Comes

We’ve all been there.  Someone has clearly done something that was either unkind, rude or even cruel and outright hostile.  It creates an awkward atmosphere that other people can sense which also adds to the discomfort.  You wait for an apology or even a sign of remorse or repentance from this person, but to no avail.

The apology never comes.

This situation is a sad circumstance and it can create bitterness in your own heart if you nurture it.  Of course you don’t do it on purpose, but the pain and confusion can dwell in your heart and that is when you allow the potential for spiritual warfare.  Remember we have an enemy who opposes love, kindness and goodness. He will use those untrue and unkind words spoken to you, over you or about you to further his agenda.  It is important to talk to those in your kingdom so they can breathe truth into your life and allow the lies to dissipate.

The ultimate key to getting over the pain is to take it to God.  Once you offer your pain to Him, you allow a valve to open and the pressure releases so it doesn’t continue to build up to the point where you explode.

Sometimes you have to realize that no matter what, you will never get that apology.  And once you have given it to God, through some healing, you will learn to forgive that person (or people) and in time have peace about the fact you won’t ever hear the words “I’m sorry” come from their lips.  It is difficult.  We have both been there.  But once you forgive, you move forward and those words slowly lose the hold they once had on you.

It doesn’t matter how seasoned or mature you are as a person. One of the most important lessons you will ever learn is that you can control how you behave and believe, but you cannot control how someone else behaves or what they believe. If you have any role in helping to influence them and allow them to come to a conclusion you have done a great service to them.  If you use intimidation, coercion, or passive aggressiveness you have not helped them but abused them.  Some people believe that if they “tell it like it is” that they are your friend and that somehow justifies what they said that hurt you.  That is not true.  It is good to tell someone how you are feeling or even how they hurt you.  But, it must be done in love for their benefit and not to achieve something that furthers your agenda.

The apology may never come, but the healing certainly will. And that is more important.

We continue to pray with and for you friends!
~Shannon and Jake

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