What shapes our personality?

We can take all kinds of personality profile tests that claim to help us identify as a golden retriever, the color red, type A, DISC, and others.  They are extremely helpful.  In last week’s post, we talked about personality and the necessity to be still and listen to God.  If you missed it, click HERE.

We can also take a spiritual gifts inventory which uses key areas given in Scripture.  These can also be very helpful.  However, they often miss the mark for a very specific reason.

Our temperament is a culmination of several things, but in large part it is our unspoken desire to find affirmation from the world.  We give a great deal of effort to people pleasing or hiding our shame.

Mainly, our personality can be a shield to cover our sin and brokenness.  We learn very early in life how to receive what we want and depending on our parents/guardians we begin to manipulate others to get it.

In order to acquire a material possession, we play a game of guilt, coercion, and manipulation and bribery to get it.  If we are not receiving attention, we start acting out in some way to get it.  When we don’t receive the love of our parents, we do what we can to get something from them, even if it is discipline and their disappointment.

We know from personal experience that if we have been too busy, our children will begin to act out to get our attention.  They would rather have bad attention than no attention at all.  This is our wake up call to schedule a Family Fun Day.  This is when we go out in nature and talk, laugh and bond.

We form these carefully crafted systems in our behaviors to get what we want.  This is almost always completely unknown to our conscience.  Personality tests can actually test these systems of sin and brokenness and give us reason or an excuse to continue to behave in a certain way.  This prevents us from actually becoming the person God created us to be!

If you are in a situation with someone close to you and the mood becomes tense, contemplate how you would typically act.  Do you launch into a tirade, withdraw, or keep your emotions in?  Personality tests will determine how you act, now why you act that way.  If you are the type that withdraws it could be, as in Jake’s case, because you faced uncertainty during those situations when you were little and it was the only way to protect your heart.  But your truest self may be one that engages the other person with kindness and understanding.  This system of behavior, if left unaddressed, could distance you from from wholehearted living in your truest self!

Our prayer for you this week is that you try to identify the “why” in your reactions to others.  Is there a childhood situation that is behind it all?  Did you suffer abuse and you are trying to protect yourself?  Whatever it may be, realizing it is the first big step.  Then you can learn to heal that area so that you are living more Christ-like.

We love hearing from you.  If you need some prayer, please go to the Contact page or comment below.

Have a fabulous week!
~Shannon & Jake


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