Thank you, friends, for taking the time to visit our website and read our blog. It brings us joy to enter each of these new stages in this journey with you. In case you haven’t heard we have signed a book deal and we hope that our book will be complete and ready for purchase for Christmas!
Over the next few months, our posts will be a mix of excerpts from our book and ones that focus on the topics from the survey. If you missed the results, please click HERE to find them. We would appreciate your feedback so we can cater our message to have the most impact.
So, let’s start discussing the stages of life!
I grew up extremely involved in ballet and would walk around the house practicing my moves. I even was in a few performances beyond the typical recitals. It is like I was born to be on stage and the center of attention with all eyes on me! I guess this is a good trait as we start speaking engagements, right?
While growing up, we depend on our parents to provide a home environment that makes us feel special, loved and safe. It should be a time of innocence and fun where we are free to express ourselves in a safe and loving environment. Those that grow up in this type of home are more likely to grow into mature adults with no obvious major “hang-ups”.
There are questions that lay in our subconscious mind during adolescence that include:
Am I loved?
Am I safe?
Are my physical needs being met?
Am I free to express my deepest desires without judgment or condemnation?
As I mature will my parents allow me the freedom to make my own choices?
Will they help me process my mistakes and add context to the story of my life?
When I offer my best to someone will it be enough to please them?
Boys and girls have gender-specific questions as well.
Boys ask if they are physically strong.
They want to know if they have an inner strength and resolve.
Sons want someone to teach them to discern how to utilize their inner and outer strength to protect his loved ones.
Girls ask if others (especially their fathers) delight in them.
They want to know if they are beautiful and a nurturing heart.
Daughters want someone to guide them in relating well to other people.
Those that grow up with their desire for love, safety, and affirmation being consistently denied will experience a greater difficulty in the two basic relational categories – socially and spiritually. Without these basic questions answered, part of our soul stops maturing and will remain indefinitely at that age when we have this disruption.
Any major disruption to our world during adolescence breaks us away from our state of innocence. Thereby causing a broken heart. It leaves a dark place that needs healing. We call these areas “soul scars”. There is a journey to maturity that should take place in stages during age-appropriate times. The end of innocence comes abruptly during especially tragic events like abandonment and abuse.
A prime example of this is deceased pop icon Michael Jackson. His childhood was unlike any other. He had a God-given talent for performing which gave him prodigy status like few others. Even his record sales for are unlikely to ever be broken. Such fame, however, came at a very high cost.
Contradiction filled Michael’s life. His mother was a kind and very religious woman that choose to speak kindness while his father was a very strict and took discipline too far. Michael’s father and older brothers would have different groupies in the same hotel room where he pretended to be asleep. This is the abandonment and abuse that forever altered his life in a very dark way.
Events like these were the catalysts that drove him to try to recreate his childhood, complete with a massive theme park with exotic animals and sleep overs with young boys. He was forever looking for his own lost innocence. Unable to find restoration of his soul, Michael buried his heart so deep he likely never found peace.
We all carry similar pain in the form of dark and empty rooms in our soul. They allow no light for a welcoming spirit and are and unavailable – especially to us. With multiple areas closed off, we are unable to offer the truest parts of ourselves. We don’t know who we were created to be and therefore offer a lesser version of ourselves. Living in a large home with a bunch of rooms that are locked and unavailable sounds absurd, yet that is how many of us unknowingly operate.
This week take some time with God to reflect on your childhood. Review the questions at the beginning of this post and reflect on whether they were answered or not. You can also reread our post on “Overcoming Generational Sin” as a reminder of what could be the reason for what happened. But it is important to go to God to answer these questions and heal your heart.
Praying for each of you.