Relationships & Conflict

This week the words I have heard most are “relationship” and “conflict” and often times together.  I get it.  Relationships are hard.  Whether it is marriage, familial, or friendship.  When you bring two broken, imperfect people together each with their own set of wounds you cannot expect there to never be any conflict just because they hit it off initially.

I think we live in a world where we are afraid to disagree with each other.  And if you do disagree and let that be known then you are called horrible names.  I feel that is absurd!!  It is ok to disagree.  I think it helps you grow in your thinking and in your beliefs.  BUT, I think it should be done with love and kindness.  I think yelling at someone that you aren’t in agreement with is not ok.  I recently had an experience where I was yelled at by someone.  She thought because she was telling me her feelings that it was acceptable.  But none of it was done in love or with kindness.  Instead of feeling like she cared and wanted me to better myself, I saw it as abuse and manipulation.

So this brings me to another point.  The words and tone of what you say has an impact.  I am a very matter-of-fact person.  I say it like it is.  But I have learned that my tone can play a huge role in whether what I’m saying is taken with love or with negativity.  I don’t ever want to hurt anyone or crush their spirit.  I’m also not one that likes to “fluff” things either.  So I am learning that if I’m going to be matter-of-fact with someone, my tone better be correct.  If not, I am going to have some conflict.

I feel conflict resolution is very uncomfortable for most people.  So many of us run from conflict.  But I think we should learn healthy conflict resolution.  I believe we have to show it is ok to disagree with love.  I know some friends that have never seen their parents argue.  Never.  That is so foreign to me because mine fought right in front of us putting it all out there.  When we talk about conflict, it is so interesting to see how different we feel and act in that type of situation.  I’m one that believes in moderation and I think that applies here too.  I think we can show some disagreement.  I think it is important to show others how to lovingly disagree but also to forgive and ask for forgiveness.  If you act like you never, ever argue then either someone is always compromising or you are posing.  Either way it isn’t good.

This week friends let’s look at our relationships and truly look at the most meaningful ones.  Think about how we are interacting with our kingdom and what we can do to improve upon them.  And if there is any conflict, let’s work on resolving it in a loving way that helps both of us feel closer to the other person as well as God.  As always, please let me know how it goes.

I’m praying for and with you.


2 comments to Relationships & Conflict

  • Dennis Olson  says:

    Tolerance is a wonderful gift, both outgoing and incoming.

  • Janice Olson  says:

    I just don’t think heated disagreements should be in front of children. It scares them.

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