We all have heard the saying “Time heals all wounds”. Many of us embrace it as truth without contemplating to what degree it is truth. One look at the end result shows us what disasters it can bring to the one that believes this.
Time doesn’t heal wounds. Love does.
All of us have experiences in our past that we spend a great deal of emotional energy trying to forget. You can suppress the pain for a while. Unless it is faced head on and dealt with you will forever carry an unhealed and underdeveloped place within your heart.
God has different stages of relationship when we are in our youth. It may take quite a bit of coaxing of our memory, but I believe that each of us can remember certain times when we had an experience where God was revealing Himself to us in a way that we could understand that He loves us.
Perhaps the biggest moment of my youth came on a family vacation to Colorado when I was just about to enter my teenage years. After arriving at Great Sand Dunes National Park, I was called to the top of the dunes. I jumped out of the car and began to run to a nearby summit. At my destination, I looked around to see the spectacular views. There was a massive sand dune all around me and an endless valley at the bottom. On the other side was a colossal snow capped mountain and below it was a creek that wound its way to the plains.
As I was in awe of what I was seeing, I felt a presence fill my spirit with joyous life. I jumped up and down with my arms held high as sports teams do when they win a championship. Then, I began screaming with excitement at the top of my lungs.
I felt God speak to me.
He revealed that He is even more beautiful than what lay before me. And He asked me to trust Him.
On the heels of my euphoric God experience, I descended to where my parents and brother were parked. And, I learned how children were treated when they disrespect their parents. I certainly got an earful from them, and deservedly so. A boy my age should never run away from his parents and ignore their pleas to return so we can set up camp.
They bear no blame for the result of what happened next, but what happened still happened. The enemy stole the major initial call from God for relationship. An inner voice said I was wrong to believe God was pursing me and I certainly wasn’t loved by Him.
Shame defined most of my experiences up to that point. I had such a low view of myself that I hid from other people emotionally and physically. A boy my age wants to know that he is strong emotionally and physically. I believed I was weak in those areas and didn’t feel worthy of the love or admiration of others because of this false agreement.
Nearly 30 years later, I intentionally went on a quest to reclaim what was stolen from me. I felt it was important after the birth of my son. So, I went back to the exact same spot and purposefully recreated the scenario. I longed to hear God speak to me and recover what was lost.
It was a fantastic day out. I brought a few items that had originated on that long ago trip. A keychain made of turquoise and a picture of my father and I taken just before he passed away. I made a playlist specifically for this day of worship music and headed up the dunes to find the spot. After listening to several songs and offering my heart back to God I stood up and raised my hands in the air and pleaded with God to come and bring closure to that day.
Come He did.
It wasn’t a windy morning and there were no breezes so what happened can only have one explanation. A whirlwind sand cloud about three feet across began right behind me and began to curve around to my front. It seemed to stall for about 5 seconds and then circled around behind me and dissipated as quickly as it began.
Oh yes, come He sure did.
The healing presence of God permeated through my soul. He was not just wooing my heart. God pursued me to reclaim what was lost. He offered peace, joy, grace and most importantly love.
And, love me He does.
And, love you He does.
Praying for each of you this week. And Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms!