Outer Ring of Intimate Friends

We have talked about messy community and what happens when you have to disband a group. But let’s take a moment to discuss another tribe.  This is what I like to refer to as my outer ring of intimate friends.

Yesterday was six years since I found out I was pregnant with our rainbow baby.  I remember being so excited I walked (ok I ran!) and started screaming while Jake was in the shower.  Note to everyone: Do not tell your spouse you’re pregnant while he is in the shower. He will drop the shampoo bottle on his foot and bruise it. You’re welcome for this sagely advice! 🙂

Back to my story…I tell Jake I am pregnant again.  We had a group of friends that had been praying with us since we had our miscarriage.  We told them through happy tears.  These people are still in our lives but since they do not live near us they cannot do every day life with us.

Does this make them less significant? Since we do not live in the same city does that mean they are not part of our community?

The answer is NO! The outer ring of intimate friends are essential to abundant life. Some of these people have known me since I was barely walking. Others I went to school with or even college. They know where I came from that some of our newer friends do not understand.  I feel that is important.

And, although we might not see each other every week, or even month (and I do not like to even admit this – not even every year), these people are still so important to me and my family. Their role is different that those that live life here with us, but it does not diminish their importance.

These people have been through the good, bad and ugly.  They were there during those awkward braces stage.  They were there during significant relationships, including the first date I had with Jake.  We have cried, laughed, and prayed together.  There are people in this group I call before others in my immediate community because they understand a part of me and why I am feeling the way I am in that moment.

Do you have an outer ring of intimate friends like this? How do you keep community with them, even if there are miles of distance that seem to define the relationship?

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