I know I am not alone when I say Mom Guilt has a tendency to run my life. In our home, there are two small humans running around. They are needy and expect to be fed and entertained constantly. Did I mention we are also finishing up potty training? I am fortunate to be a stay at home mom, but that means I rarely get a break. Upon arriving home on certain days, Jake realizes this mom has reached her max. He tries to get me take a few minutes to myself, but then Mom Guilt rears itself.
It is difficult for Jake to understand this. He wants me to go to our room and relax for a few minutes so that I can conquer the rest of the evening more refreshed. But, that is so difficult for me to do. I know his heart is in the right place. Rather, my mom guilt is from feeling disconnected from my kids. Can anyone else relate?
In our small group, we are working on a parenting study right now. This week’s lesson discussed key ways to bond with your child. The majority of us felt eye contact and focused attention were goals for us. Even as tired moms, we still want to connect to our children. We want them to experience our engagement with them in meaningful ways.
But, here’s the problem with that. We are individuals first, spouses second and then parents. Too often we put being a parent before the others. I should take Jake up on some “me time” every time he offers without feeling guilty. This allows me to be a better person, wife and a mom. When refreshed I have more patience. I can find humor in events that happen that before would annoy me. I am able to get down eye-level and play games.
So why do we let Mom Guilt control us and make choices we know are not best for us and our family? I wish I had some amazing insight to share with you. But I think that’s part of our pride. We want to be Super Mom. And we believe no one can love and care for our kids like we can. So true! But our husbands love our kids and are fully capable of watching them for us to take a fifteen minute rest or even a girls night out.
My challenge for this week is simple. Men, give your wife the opportunity to have some time to refresh. This can be some time alone in the house with you watching the kids. And moms, take him up on it guilt free! Do this for you and for your family. We all should strive to give our family the best of us and not the leftovers.
Praying for each of you,