Love Languages Revisited

Our first series of posts for this blog were on Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages”.  Since then Jake and I have reread the book with some interesting results!!

For those not familiar with the 5 love languages they are Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts.  Each of us speak these languages often times showing others our preferred one.

Here’s a brief synopsis of each love language:

Acts of Service: This person sees love through actions.  For example, washing the car without being asked or taking out the trash.

Words of Affirmation:  This person values words and takes both positive and negative words to heart.  Speaking truth in a loving way is the best way to show this person love.

Quality of Time: This person loves to spend time with you.  So, go on a walk or sit and talk face-to-face with no distractions.

Physical Touch: This person feels love through touch.  It is not necessarily sexual in nature.  It is merely walking by and brushing up against him/her.  Or even giving a hug.

Receiving Gifts: This person loves to know you are thinking about him/her when you aren’t together by getting something you see as token.  It does not have to be expensive.  For example, maybe you see their favorite candy and buy it for them.

What I found most interesting this time as Jake and I read the book is how mine changed from a year ago.  I have been trying to heal some big wounds in my heart.  These wounds came from my past and I believe affected my love language.

I was raised in a home where “do what I say not as I do” was the motto.  Therefore words meant very little but actions showed how you truly felt.  So, Acts of Service for me has always been high.  I honestly do not think that will ever change.  But Words of Affirmation was almost at zero.

Fast forward to last month when I retook the test after reading the book again.  My Words of Affirmation have actually moved up!  I truly believe this comes from healing.  That is God showing His love.  We have to go to him daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and ask Him to heal these areas of our past that are so wounded.  Without it, we will stay stagnant.

If it has been a while since you have taken the Love Language quiz please take it again.  If you have not taken it before, please do!  Once we know our love language, we are able to make more sense of why certain actions affect us.

We typically speak our love language to others but that does not mean they will speak ours back to us.  I am an Acts of Service and Quality Time girl (they are 10/10 and 9/10).  As I mentioned, Words of Affirmation is still low on my profile although improving.  Jake, on the other hand, is Words of Affirmation.  This is a struggle for me as I have to force myself to speak his language as it is not natural for me.  I fall short more than I would like to admit.  But, I want to show him love by speaking his language and do make big efforts to do so.

This is where communication comes into play.  It is imperative that we know our loved ones Love Language so we can speak it to them regularly.  This is true for your spouse, significant other, children, friends and other family members.  If you know what makes them feel love and can show it, and visa versa, your relationship will be much stronger.

So this week, I challenge you to go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and take the test.  It takes about two minutes.  I would love to know your love languages so please post your results in the comments below!

Praying you have a fantastic week!
~Shannon

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