Two days ago (Tuesday) was eight years to the day I first met Jake. For those that do not know our story, we met on E-Harmony. We emailed for a few days and a week later we went on our first date. The date of our wedding was set within three weeks. Jake proposed at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve followed by a beautiful fall wedding.
I want to reflect over the past eight years in our life and help bring some hope or perspective to others. I especially want to reach those that need some encouragement in their marriage right now.
Jake and I have our own personal struggles. Our relationship is an uphill battle. The solution for two broken people is with God’s strength. We are seeking to submit our agenda to His will. This includes our marriage and parenting.
Reflecting on our past years, our biggest obstacles are the same things mentioned in our survey. If you do not know what we are talking about, click HERE for a quick update.
Please indulge me for a few minutes.
After we left church on Sunday, this blog post really made sense for me. I looked at the people we were when we had our first date on August 29, 2009 and when we had our last day on August 29, 2017. Y’all, the same two people were there but at the same time they were not.
In the beginning of our relationship, Jake and I did not communicate the best. Did you read the post about our communication? If not, click HERE and you can read it. We process differently. Thankfully our counselor recognized this and we have continuously worked on this.
We also carried a lot of anger from our past father wounds. Our dads never intended to hurt us, but, they are human. And at the end, we felt abandoned. What did this mean for our relationship? I would do my best to control things so I would be the one leaving, not being the one abandoned. Jake, on the other hand, would retreat for days giving me the silent treatment. Neither of these approaches are good nor do they help make you become more of the person God created you to be.
Thankfully we have a core group of friends that bring God’s Truth and Word into our life. They are our tribe. And, what they do is call us up, which is different than calling us out. By doing this, they also restore our hearts for God’s glory. They show us the truth when we are stuck in the lies, whether about ourselves, our spouse or others with which we have a relationship.
As I look back, during our hardest times in our life together we had a core group of friends. Sometimes all we needed was for them to pray for us. Other times, we needed a shoulder to cry on. Other times we needed an ear to listen and a heart open to compassion for our situation. But most of all, we needed people to point us back to God. And to cheer us on to be the best we could be, even with the hard conversations.
Do you have this type of group? Are there people that know the good, bad and ugly about your life and still invest to help make you the best you? If not, please ask God to help you find them. And know that we appreciate each one of you that takes time to read our blog.
Have a wonderful week! Please let us know how we can pray specifically for you this week.